A friend of mine asked me not too long ago, since she's just been introduced to US comics, what Marvel's Civil War was. This is what I told her:
Marvel's Civil War in 10 minutes:
Tony: Hey Guys! Congress wants to pass laws against Supers! We need to get in on this shit so we can have a word in!
Prof. X: ...You know, we dealt with this shit before. It was called House of M. I got a school to run. Peace out.
Black Panther: Fuck Yo shit. I'm going back to Africa, foo's. *noms fried chicken and watermelon*
Namor: I hate all you humans. I'm just here to stare at Sue Storm's ass.
Strange: Oh Christ. This bull shit again. *sighs*...Where the hell is my tea?!
Everybody Else: OH SHIT! WHAT WE GONNA DO!?
~FFWRD~
Stamford, CT: *KA-BOOOM*
~FFWRD TO PASSING OF SHRA:~
Tony: SEE! I TOLD YOU GUYS THIS WOULD HAPPEN! CUZ I'M A FUTURIST!
Namor: Fuck this shit. I'm going to Atlantis.
Tony & Namor: *fight*
Strange: *breaks up fight with Namor and Tony* Don't call me again, Science Fag. *teleports off*
Reed Richards: D'OH!
~Meanwhile.... ~
Steve: *finds out about SHRA* FUCK THIS SHIT!
SHIELD: *tries to arrest Cap*
Steve: *fucks up SHIELD's shit*
Steve: Tony! WTF! We have to fight the man!
Tony: What? We have to Register! We shouldn't fight about this. It'll be good for the kids!
Steve: *GASP* HOW COULD YOU! YOU BITCH!
Tony & Steve: *slap fight for another 7 issues*
Steve: *Nearly takes off Tony's head with shield*
Crowd of People: NO CAP! STOP THE FIGHTING! *tackle pounce*
Steve: *SIGHS* I guess I'll stop fighting... *is arrested*
~FFWRD TO Arraignment Trial~
Steve: *Is shot*
... And I think that sums up everything pretty well.
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