Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Helping Out A Buddy

A friend of mine asked me not too long ago, since she's just been introduced to US comics, what Marvel's Civil War was. This is what I told her:

Marvel's Civil War in 10 minutes:

Tony: Hey Guys! Congress wants to pass laws against Supers! We need to get in on this shit so we can have a word in!

Prof. X: ...You know, we dealt with this shit before. It was called House of M. I got a school to run. Peace out.

Black Panther: Fuck Yo shit. I'm going back to Africa, foo's. *noms fried chicken and watermelon*

Namor: I hate all you humans. I'm just here to stare at Sue Storm's ass.

Strange: Oh Christ. This bull shit again. *sighs*...Where the hell is my tea?!

Everybody Else: OH SHIT! WHAT WE GONNA DO!?

~FFWRD~

Stamford, CT: *KA-BOOOM*

~FFWRD TO PASSING OF SHRA:~

Tony: SEE! I TOLD YOU GUYS THIS WOULD HAPPEN! CUZ I'M A FUTURIST!

Namor: Fuck this shit. I'm going to Atlantis.

Tony & Namor: *fight*

Strange: *breaks up fight with Namor and Tony* Don't call me again, Science Fag. *teleports off*

Reed Richards: D'OH!

~Meanwhile.... ~

Steve: *finds out about SHRA* FUCK THIS SHIT!

SHIELD: *tries to arrest Cap*

Steve: *fucks up SHIELD's shit*

Steve: Tony! WTF! We have to fight the man!

Tony: What? We have to Register! We shouldn't fight about this. It'll be good for the kids!

Steve: *GASP* HOW COULD YOU! YOU BITCH!

Tony & Steve: *slap fight for another 7 issues*

Steve: *Nearly takes off Tony's head with shield*

Crowd of People: NO CAP! STOP THE FIGHTING! *tackle pounce*

Steve: *SIGHS* I guess I'll stop fighting... *is arrested*

~FFWRD TO Arraignment Trial~

Steve: *Is shot*


... And I think that sums up everything pretty well.

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